The holidays are upon us and, regardless of the holiday you celebrate, it is a time of year spent with friends and family.  It also means the inevitable parties with copious amounts of food and drink.  For those with an eating disorder it can quickly become a time of anxiety and withdrawal.  Food may become the enemy; friends and family members the enablers.

We have started this blog to help combat the anxiety, shame, and frustration of the eating disorder (AKA “ED”).  It is our hope that you will find tools to work with, but at the very least let this be a form of support and hope.  Take some time to peruse the strategies below* and add them to your toolbox.  Wishing you peace and health during the holiday season!

• *Be realistic. Don’t accept what some of the media portray about what’s a normal weight and what’s an ideal body image.

• Resist the urge to diet or skip meals. Dieting actually triggers unhealthy eating and         makes it difficult to cope with stress.

• Remind yourself what a healthy weight is for your body, especially at times when you see images that may trigger your desire to binge and purge.

 

*Coping and Support Strategies from the Mayo Clinic 

The Real Beauty Workshop for Girls….. Or is it??

A woman is transformed into the impossibly perfect images we see on billboards, magazines and other media.  This video reveals the way in which ad campaigns attempt to capitalize on low self-esteem and negative self-image of women and girls.  The ad also capitalizes on the impossible, idealized, fantasy image of the perfect looking woman for men and boys.

 

During the holiday season we are often busy shopping for loved ones, gathering gifts 

together to show our love and appreciation. Most of us realize that it is the feeling behind 

the gift that is most important—the gift is our way of showing our love for those closest 

to us, even if it’s just a token reminder.

 

Yet, the process of gift giving is an excellent example of how a human feeling can be 

transformed into a material object for others to see. Our Christmas gifts or Hanukkah 

gifts are, in essence, our attempts at converting love into something real and quantifiable. 

Love no longer holds its basic nature as a feeling, but instead becomes something 

symbolic or representative of that feeling.

 

So what is this transformational process? How does love come to be wrapped up 

neatly in a bow?

 

As we all know, the very nature of love is something that cannot be touched, only felt.

In selecting to show our feelings with gift during the holiday, we take emotions that cannot 

be measured and make them into an entity that can. Love changes from something that is 

indefinable and uncontrollable into something that is.

 

So what does this have to do with eating disorders?

 

In many ways, the idea of translating love into a gift can be used to understand the struggle with anorexia and bulimia. In the case of eating disorders, however, it is not a gift but rather food that that is a stand-in for our feelings. What we eat (or do not eat) is often just emotion in solid form.

 

Every person is different and every person may give food different meanings. In anorexia, 

for example, food may be represent negative feelings that we don’t believe we can digest 

and don’t want to have inside us. In bulimia, food can represent safety or happiness that 

brings us away from our problems for a while. Suddenly, our relationship to food reflects 

the push and pull we are really having with our own moods and feelings—only now our 

feelings are in a form that we can hold, touch, and control. Just like our holiday gifts, our 

food can now be acknowledged as much or as little as we would like.

 

We all know that the holidays can be stressful. We travel, we’re busy, there are extra expenses, and we’re often caught up in difficult family dynamics.

 

If you’re struggling with food over the holidays, remember to stop and ask yourself what feelings the food might represent for you at this time. As with your gifts, it’s the feeling behind the food that’s most important. 

Summer Time by Samantha Spiwak

It’s summer time!! Time to enjoy the good life. The beautiful sunshine, the clear blue sky, and quality time with good people. Sleeping in late, going to bed at unreasonable hours, and time to catch up on your favorite TV shows and movies. Pull out those sunglasses, turn up the music, and get ready for those pool parties because summer is finally here!!

Wait… did you say pool parties?

That means bathing suits, shorts, tank tops, flip-flops, and hair up. 

In today’s media-driven society, where models are only getting skinnier, bikinis getting smaller, summer is a hard time for most.  It can bring a rush of insecurities because it peels away our protective layer, leaving us vulnerable to see the imperfections with our bodies and ourselves.    

Teens today are exposed to unrealistic images of beautiful men and women that we feel we need to compete with.  It does not matter how beautiful he or she really is because there is always that competition to do more.   I can lose more weight, I can workout an extra hour, and I can eat a little less. 

Losing that productive layer in summer is hard.  Having to think if our stomach and thighs are swimsuit friendly, if our stretch marks are noticeable, and if our acne is okay.  All these factors make us insecure today because of the media-drive society we live in.

To me summer is a time for fun, for youth, a time to celebrate all the hard work we do all year.  It is a time to appreciate yourself, your health, and your beauty.  We need to stop comparing ourselves to unrealistic images, and start loving ourselves the way we are.  We need to start finding positives in everyday.  It’s time we embrace life.  We get one life so live it.

Stuffing Feelings by Samantha Spiwak

Sunday night I went to dinner with my family.  I realized on the way I wasn’t hungry. I was also thinking about a lot of other things.  Feelings that I have yet to really express or feel myself.  As I looked out the window little things started to bring me back to the old days with people who aren’t in my life for whatever reason it may be.

When we all sat down at dinner I looked over the menu and told my family nothing sounded good and I am simply not hungry.  I told the waitress I am just going to have water for tonight.  She gave me a strange look like that wasn’t okay or normal.

Then I started looking around and thinking a lot.  Everyone is looking at me.  I’m not eating so everyone thinks that I have an eating disorder. That’s why everyone is looking at me.  I didn’t touch a single thing at dinner.

This was an eye opener for me and only for me.  I realized that the way I handle my feelings is with my eating disorder.  The focus becomes on not eating rather than on what I’m feeling.

Other times I stuff my feelings by overeating.   Around people I won’t eat because it’s easy to just say you ate earlier, or I’m not hungry but thank you.  There isn’t anytime to eat.  I have to make sure I don’t cry, that I don’t break down, that I keep my smile on and show no feelings.

I can cry when I am alone. That is when it’s bad news. That’s when I stuff my face with food and it doesn’t stop until I can’t breathe anymore.  I then yell about everything and eat everything in sight and feel gross.

If you asked my friends and family about me or to describe me in a few words I know they would say I am a strong woman, confident, independent, and very outgoing.  And I agree with them, I totally am.  That’s me.

That’s me. The outside me. What I show everyone. What I need and want people to think and know me for.  So no one worries  about me or questions me. So my parents can talk about me to their friends, brag as we call it.

The hardest things in life are the things people don’t see; the feelings people don’t understand.  It makes me feel alone in a world full of people.

Why is it so hard to express my feelings?  Why am I so afraid to show my true self?  Why do I need to resist, ignore, and even reject them?   It is an uphill battle I fight daily.

My Fear of Rejection by Samantha Spiwak

I feel the pressure…..to be thin by Samantha Spiwak

 Let’s face it.  Our society is obsessed with being thin.  There is no way you can escape it.   TV, Magazines, Internet, and even on your phone the PRESSURE is there.  The pressure to be thin by society is overwhelming. 

 It confuses me at times what exactly society wants.  They say “beautiful” women should be 100 lbs, legs for days, and a face you can’t look away from.  We see these types of women on the TV, in magazines, and on the Internet.  What throws me for a loop is this new Carl’s Jr commercial.  They have this flawless, skinny, blond woman eating this huge burger.  Isn’t that an oxymoron?  They want us to be skinny but eat this fatty, unhealthy burger.  How does that work?

We all struggle enough every day battling with our weight.  Will I look okay in this outfit? Will my jeans fit? Can I be seen in public in this bathing suit?  Will she/he still love me?  These are common questions we all have whether it’s every day or every so often we ask them. 

It’s not easy keeping up with what society calls “beautiful” these days.  If you eat you’re fat, if you don’t you’re a freak.  Society has truly put a lot of pressure on females and males to keep up with what is called desirable.  

This pressure from society has only seemed to make easting disorders grow and grow.  I know what I am doing isn’t healthy and isn’t the way I should live my life but I am surrounded by thin people.  I want to be able to eat what I want and still be a size zero, still be able to wear a bathing suit without questing it.  I want to feel “normal” and not wake up every day reminding myself if I eat that I will regret it.  I just want to know that people will look at me, not my weight, and think or say that I am overweight or too thin that I am so far from “beautiful”.  Every single person is so different; that is what makes the world go round. 

I wish I didn’t live in a world were I was compared to what society sees as “beautiful”.  I wish I could just be me and wake up and be happy with the way I look.  I wonder if that will ever happe